Surat
seorang Psycologist Dr. Kelly Flanagan kepada putri kecilnya telah menarik
perhatian banyak orang di facebook dan blog pribadinya. Surat ini dia tulis
tentang keprihatinannya terhadap masa depan anak-anak perempuan, khususnya
terhadap anaknya tentang memilih Mr. Right, ‘Suami Masa Depan’.
Sebelumnya
Dr. Flanagan dan istrinya searching di Google dengan keywords “ How to keep him
interested “ , dan dalam list Google menampilkan artikel-artikel yg kebanyakan
membuatnya prihatin dan marah, karena dalam artikel-artikel tersebut banyak yg
menempatkan para wanita untuk harus tampil menarik dan sexy untuk mendapat perhatian laki-laki , dan cara
melayani dan membuat mereka tampak smart dan superior.
Berikut
surat lengkap Dr. Flanagan, sebuah pesan untuk putrinya ,,, tapi juga pesan
untuk para perempuan .
Dear Cutie-Pie,
Recently, your mother and I were searching for
an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a
list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list
was 'How to keep him interested'.
It startled me. I scanned several of the
countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer
versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.
And I got angry.
Little One, it is not, has never been, and never
will be your job to 'keep him interested'.
Little One, your only task is to know deeply in
your soul — in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss
and ego — that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone
else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won.
But that is a letter for another day.)
If you can trust your worth in this way, you
will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a
boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life
investing all of his interest in you.
Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who
doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:
I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner
table — as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you
smile. And then can’t stop looking.
I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with
me — as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the
glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.
I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet — as
long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.
I don’t care if he is strong — as long as he
gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.
I couldn’t care less how he votes — as long as
he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home
and a place of reverence in his heart.
I don’t care about the color of his skin — as
long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and
sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.
I don’t care if he was raised in this religion
or that religion or no religion — as long as he was raised to value the sacred
and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply
sacred.
In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a
man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most
important thing in common:
You.
Because in the end, Little One, the only thing
you should have to do to 'keep him interested' is to be you.
Your eternally interested guy,
Daddy
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